Updated: Sep 13, 2020
24 hours ago, I was frantically waving my hands in front of my laptop to air-dry them, like one of those monkey toys that you wind up and they clang little cymbals together, except I was leaving an awkward space between my hands.
Sweat was pouring out of pores I didn't know existed. I was already one hour late in opening our virtual doors, and I imagined virtual queues of angry, pillow-hungry, scrunchie-starved customers.
It's so funny now (and embarrassing) to think that I thought that. Like, people were living their lives and trying to keep their kids from falling off tables they somehow climbed in a millisecond and worrying about their family members during a pandemic and making pancakes for breakfast...but they were definitely not worried about scrunchies.
Yet there I was, genuinely stressed that I was making someone upset by not having a floral zipper pouch available for purchase at exactly the time I planned for... when they were probably doing something a lot more important. Granted, we take extra pride in my family for being on time (or early), but I've also come to appreciate how much we need to not be so hard on ourselves when we run into unexpected obstacles.
...although living out this understanding is way easier said than done.
24 hours later, and I feel like I could FLY, fueled by the love and support and human warmth (TERANGA!) that I've experienced from you all since the sweaty palm incident of 2020. Of course, it was exciting and amazing to receive our first orders because it has a direct, powerful, and life-changing impact on Anne-Marie and her family. But it went far beyond that in ways I didn't expect, with direct messages and emails and texts and calls with messages of support and encouragement and cheers. Holy smokes!
Some conversations may have begun with comments or questions about something from our online store, but it took no time at all before we were talking about life, kids, dreams, and fears... and slowly, over the course of the day, I had that amazing feeling of human connection and Teranga growing and moving through my whole being. As I ran zoomies all day from one side of the house to the other, filling up boxes with orders and replying to comments and realizing and fixing another mistake... I felt nothing but love from you guys.
It's hard to imagine that I was so stressed and worried just 24 hours ago. It just goes to show you, we are often our own worst critics, and the fears and stories we tell ourselves are so often worse than our actual realities. That half the battle (or more) is just in our heads.
Despite all the fears and confusion pelting us from every direction right now all across the world, I see a silver lining in the shape of big hearts and open minds and kind and curious voices from all of you.
And I'm laughing again because here I was, thinking I might be able to pour some Teranga into the world through our business and mission, and there you are, pouring it right back into us.
You are so great.
an awkward tree lean, just for you.
photo by Amanda Andersen